Mama

“Mmmmm Mamma” We’ve been hearing a lot of this word lately in our house. We’re not sure if Pepper is directing the word “Mama” to me, or if she is just repeating it because she is trying to make sounds. Either way, I will take it! It makes my heart melt, each and every time. 

Being “Mama” is the toughest job I have ever had. It’s a no-vacation, 24 hour, round the clock exercise in listening, observing, anticipating, learning, responding, worrying, acting, loving and sometimes heart-breaking. And that’s just a good day. 

All of this, and I still feel the need to explain myself. I guess for some people, it is tough to imagine what I go through as a mother, a wife, a full time employee, a friend and a blogger (hee hee, I’m a blogger! ) 

Well let me tell you. When I am not carting Pepper to her therapy appointments (which happen once a week), then I usually have a specialist appointment for her. If it is none of these, then it may be some sort of paediatric emergency. This week, it was pneumonia for both kids. Two kids not breathing, two kids not sleeping, two kids in the hospital, two kids on puffers and antibiotics. That would be 5 hours spent in the hospital for each kid getting treatment. But that’s not all. I work full time too. So when do I do that? When I am not able to get a full day in during the day, I am working at night. When my husband is not working his second job, I am up all night at the computer working. But my job doesn’t stop there. I am also responsible for keeping track of the appointments, sharing the responsibility with my husband for the meals, the laundry, the administration of meds, the cleanup, the paying of the bills, the retrieval of the groceries, attending the support groups, organizing the family get togethers, trying to complete renovations on our house and trying to squeeze in the little things in life that keep me enjoying life, like volleyball, our friends and blogging. When do I sleep? When I can fit it in. Period. When does my husband sleep? When he can fit it in. Period. As a result, we’re a little tired. My health is suffering and I am presently needing to squeeze in my own appointments with the doctor. They think I never left their office. I feel like it’s my second home. And these home renovations I speak of? We purchased our home just before Pepper was born. Pepper is now 19 months old. We have not yet moved into our house. Slowly, but surely we have been renovating it top to bottom. Is it a priority? Over the health of our children, not really. It will be done as efficiently and timely as we are able to take care of it. There is no good reason on this earth for stressing about the completion of the house. We’re all tapped out in the stress department thank you very much. 

The strange thing about all of this however, is that I can’t really complain. I mean I could complain, but it wouldn’t really help anyone in the long run. Besides, being a mother is something I dreamed about from the moment I looked into my husband’s eyes. It’s not exactly how I pictured it, but it’s also one of the greatest commitments I have ever made. It’s my “Mother Nature”. The biological inclination inside me to do good things for others, to do right by those I love, to be a champion, a tigress, a fighter. To be “Mama”. And so, on that note, I hear a sweet little voice in the background calling, “mmmMama”. I’ve got a very important call to answer. Time for the superhero cape.